I should not be writing right now. Because I know I need to be sleeping more. But there is too much today. I cant not write. Not spend time with people. Not do staff devotional. Its nice to be in a place though where I have more to do than I have time for. Its been a good two days. Sunday we went to the beach. And I didnt want to go because I wanted to do something productive.But it was a beautiufl day because Sabbath is a command no matter how much time I felt like was wasted throughout the week. Days not going my way does not equal sabbath. Moreso, I had the most wonderful deep conversations with Catherine on the ride there and throughout the day. A really great girl who is here for the summer and in love with Haiti. I also had more time to get to know team members. Which is the role of staff. And today we started work early. And it was hard. Which was really really hard for me. To be tired at all. Because I am so used to being so strong and working super hard the whole time I am at repatriot. Today, just not feeling it. I kept getting alll this dust in my eyes. Which is the smallest most insignificant thing ever. But it was such a beautiful reminder of what its like to struggle on the work site. To be worn out. To not be able to rely on your own strength. I think I idolize my strength. I act like its not a big deal that people are impressed with how hard I can work but I love it. I love being able to prove that despite how small I am and the fact that I am a girl I can work as much as anyone else. And I think my work ethic is a gift from God. One of my greatest gifts, even. But we have this strange ability to twist our gifts into idols. And today I wasnt able to do that because I didnt have any strength and spent lots of time not working and was irritable and easily irked. Then we came back for lunch and I learned, as the team worked out what they were doing, how much I loved helping them figure it out and being a part of that process. I really really love being a staff member at a place where people come on mission trips. Which is a cool and humbling things because there was a point a few months ago that I was anti-short term missions. I thought they were selfish. I thought Haitians are called to lead haitians not americans. I still believe that but I also see that God is  working in lives and hearts in mighty ways in short terms missions. Who I am to call the work that he is dong not good? If people are beign drawn to him and his word its good.
I have a lot more to write about reflecting from our devotionals but it will have to wait, as I am falling asleep.

To God be the glory.