moore square

DC. Or Jerome. Although at first he told us he didn’t have a name. Who doesn’t believe in God because of the suffering of the world. Who wants to serve homeless people. Who is a cook at North Hills Mall. Who thinks I nice eyes. Who noticed the scar on my leg. Who thinks Christians are dumb. Who once was a deacon.

Norman. Who was quiet. A listener. A ponderer. Who told me he listens more than he speaks. Who Anthony said was a good friend. DC said he had known him forever. Loyal. 

“Do The Math” or Anthony. Who is a poet. Whose favorite book is the bible. Who wants to know every person in Moore Square. Who was once an athlete and once had asthma. Who wrote this poem about the ocean:

Ocean, Large Vast And 

Free-Spirit Water or

Our Earth

Ocean the part of us that 

Is Dominate-H2O

To Be-To Be.

May the Laws of REality 

Bend the Water to our

great Asset-

May the Power of the 

Ocean encourage us

In the Greenhouse Effect

Ocean, strong, wet, true

Ocean that we all know

Ocean- that we

all want 

to 

know

3 Men. Michael and I met them in Moore Square today. The word that comes to mind is thirsty. They are thirsty the way I am thirsty. For something more than this world has to offer. Thirsty for living water. From my lens. Three men who are Beloved. Loved by God. Known by Him. Made to glorify Him.

Michael and I walked circles around that little square of brokenness and humanity in the middle of downtown Raleigh, asking ourselves and each other what Christ would be doing if he were here and how being here without speaking of Him only led people to look at us and not Him and how we want Him to be glorified there. It was rich time.

In Him we live and move and have our being.

In Him we see people as they are.

In Him we know what love is-Christ crucified. Not that we hang out with the homeless. That He died for our sins and theirs. That they are no different then us. No less in need of his grace. No more in need of his grace.

God glorify yourself in Moore Square year. Were begging you for conversion. For sinners to become sons and daughters of the most high God. For the making of disciples. The baptism in your Name. 

The worship of your Son. 

a prayer

God, I don't know if there is anything that you have for me to say right now. I don't know who will read this. I don't know how you will use it to glorify yourself. I don't know how you will use it to speak into the life of someone, if you will do that. I only ask that your Spirit indwells even my fingertips as they touch the keys that you may show forth, that your gospel may show forth through these letters and words that will be visible for people to see.

A Prayer

I put my trust in You, O LORD, my Lord.
I know that the Word you have given us is precious.
I write it on my heart God.
I know that your written Word brings me to your living Word.
Whom you have freely given us.
I know that you do not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it.
That you require no burnt offering.
That a broken and contrite heart you will not despise, you will not turn away.
I know that you have made me the Beloved.
The most loved one of God.
Let these things that swirl around me-
these lies that assail me again and again
You are what you do.
You are what people say and think about you.
You are what you have.
Let them be silenced.
Just as powerfully as when your Son silenced the storm with two words:
Be still.
I will not deny my sinfulness before you Lord.
My sin is ever before me.
I will not presume on my abilities. On my faith. On my love.
How fickle I am without you.
How quickly I turn to another gospel. (Not that there is another gospel
but there are some who want to distort the gospel of Christ)
YOU set me apart before I was born.
You called me by your grace.
You revealed your Son to me.
In order that I might preach him among the Gentiles.
God, give me the wisdom to know the Gentiles surrounding me.
Open my eyes to see as you see.
Open my heart God.
You are pleased to use me.
You are pleased to crucify me with Christ.
This Son of God loved me. Gave himself for me.
This son of yours became a curse for us.
Redeeming us from the curse of the law
So that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith.
You are good God.
I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will return to you.
God of my salvation, open my lips and my moth will declare your praise.
From now forevermore.

(Inspired by (basically taken from) Galatians 1-3 and Psalm 51)

Last Night in Europe

Well this is the last night. But even as I write that I think to myself, last night of what? This is the beauty of Christianity-there are no lasts. There is leaving behind, there is letting go, but it is always for the infinite joy of what is ahead-the far better thing-Christ himself. I press on to know the lord, Paul says. Not that I have already attained this but I press forward to make Him my own because He has made me His own. I read in Job this morning that God gives and takes away. Who are we to receive good from him and not evil? But actually God gives us Himself. He has made us his own. We fully possess him and he fully possesses us through Christ who had the right to divine sonship. Now we are sons and daughters. So God giving and taking away is completely abolished. God gave. Everything. He gave everything in Christ once and for all. And though he gives and takes from us everything else, we now are one with the One from whom all blessings flow. So what do I have to say at the final evening of such a rich and full journey? All I can do is point to the Crucified One. He is far better than any other thing. Upon him was laid my iniquity. My iniquity EVEN in this trip of serving-my sin is ever before me. It is clear that all good from this is His. But he is never just the indifferent or pitying bearer of our transgressions-he loves us. He really, really loves us. What I have learned is so how deep and fierce his love is for me. How full it is. How passionate it is. For the fullness of who I am-all my pride, all my quirks, all my joy, all my mannerisms, all my ugliness and all my beauty. All my thoughts and all my actions. In Tonia’s words, He is not ashamed to call me His own. Perhaps that’s the message of the trip-

He is not ashamed to call me His own. 

To discuss something as small as my role in the lives of people in Eastern Europe is my natural inclination but I know that the far more miraculous thing, the ONLY thing I can boast in is Jesus Christ and Him crucified and resurrected. 

Love Powerfully Simplifies

I sit on a wooden swing alone, surveying a glassy lake surrounded by tall green trees and matching the grey-blue cloud filled sky above in color and calmness, though as always the water is not fully still. An expanding ripple seems to constantly be in motion in the water nearest to me, and as I look further out I can see the methodical movement with the imperceptible breeze, that though I can feel I can hear it whisper through the leaves. And as I sit I am reminded of God. Always Him. The one who brought me here. The one who owns my life. The one who knows me in a way that no one else ever has or ever will. The one closer than the breeze that blows the little wisps of hair and far greater and grander than all the things that I have seen on this incredible journey-all this is is only a millimeter of His handiwork. There is much to be said. About camp. About the drive from Montenegro to Finland. About the work that has been done in my heart and the hearts of those around me, about things that have been learned, joyfully and painfully...but to speak of anything other than Him-it would be irrational. Like asking someone to look at a little pebble at the Grand Canyon. My experience here has been more than I could have hoped or imagined, but it (and I) am only a pointer to the Great One, to the Alpha and Omega. He really, really loves us. God really loves people. All of them. Every last one. From the most spectacular to the most detestable. And if anyone saw my soul, they would know that I am among the detestable. I was written to by someone very, very wise who said that they were praying that I would find as much contentment in the day to day life given the dramatic and rich experiences I have had-knowing my temptation and my sinfulness so well. It would be just like me to go home and be unsatisfied with "normal" life, to forget that the JEsus that I follow and give my life to here is the same Jesus I will follow and give my life to every single day in the states or wherever I am. Life is made of the hum drum. Disciples are made in the hum drum. Death to self occurs in the valleys where there is little emotion and little excitement and little "spiritual high." Christianity is all about death and resurrected life. It is what Christ did for us-and the weight of that we must dwell on more, lean into more, seek to understand more and more. How tempted I am to let it become old when it is new everyday-his putting on of my sins, paying my punishment, and giving me his robes of righteousness. Its also about participating in BOTH the death and resurrection ourselves. We die with him-dying to our needs, our desires, our searching for the spectacular, our endless seeking of affirmation and compliments and value from people, our selfishness, our pride-dying over and over again to these-while setting our hopes on the Risen One, who will raise us with Him, seat us in the heavenly places. "When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." How do we do this? How do we, little worms of humans that we all are, seek the things that are above, where Christ is? Daily, we put to death everything that is earthly in us-put all of it off-and put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving each other. Above all, we put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Ah and here is the part I must preach daily to my anxious and turbulent soul-let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Listening to Elisabeth Elliott as we drove through country after country, I remember one of the many wise things she said-
"Love powerfully simplifies"
She is right. It does powerfully simplify things. And as Christians we are invited into simple lives. Lives that are filled to the brim with just a few things that we count as infinitely valuable-most of which was in the passage I wrote in above from Colossians 3. I have learned more about the life God invites me to in this trip. Far more prayer. Communal and solitary conversations with, intercession before, childlike praise to the Father. Knowing that praying is one the best things I can do because only what He does (nothing, really nothing at all, that I do) will last (psalm 127-unless the lord builds the house the builders labor in vain, unless the lord watches over the city the watchmen stay awake in vain). The Word. Being in the written word as much as possible for the Word (Jesus Christ) to be formed in us, reading the truth so that we may know Jesus who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life-knowing that our bibles are worth more than all the treasures of the world as the word of the lord endures forever, and will teach us and work in us (as Colossians said-let the word of christ dwell in you richly). With these two, we are able to carry out the greatest commandments-loving God and loving one another. We are able to carry out the great commission-going, making disciples of ALL nations, teaching them to OBEY all that Christ has commanded and baptizing them in the SPIRIT. We are able to live lives of worship that glorify God because the world sees how we treasure Him. And these things can be done ANYWHERE. They are in no way bound to foreign cultures and mission trips and times of year and any of the other things that I always think are part of the recipe for life being this rich, this full, this stunningly beautiful.