Hosanna

Community and solitude are becoming simultaneously more beautiful. I have never known time with Christ as I have had it here and I have never known community that I deeply depended on and found joy in as I have here. I always associated needing people with weakness but this isn't the case. I'd never make it without it...

Dear Jesus,
Tear me that you may heal me. Jesus you know that I am running from the weight of my brokenness and you want to walk with me into the thick of that sin, the sin which clings so closely, so that I may see that I am weak but that you use the weak to shame the strong. I have nothing to boast in but you, my love. Lord, don't let me care so much about the number of people who read this, about whether it matters, about the amount that I am doing for the kingdom. Please, whisper to me every day that you have called me by name, that you will dance me into the fullness of who you created me to be, that you adore me simply because that is who you are. Remind me God that my words don't really matter, that the only thing I have to say is that death could not hold you and that you came so we may have life and life abundantly. You did not ask us to save the world because we cannot. We need to be saved and we are part of what the world needs to be saved from. You already have. You have reconciled this earth and each of us to yourself. There is nothing for us to do. But you call us to obedience. Not to outcomes or to results or to conversions but simply to make much of you and to listen and know what you have for each us and to say "yes." Let us know Lord that you have called us to yourself and then to go out with you and be a part of what you are doing. You never say go and come back and show me what you got. You say, go and I will be with you always, to the ends of the earth, in you, through you, loving you, loving this world. That with you we have the courage to die to ourselves so that our friends and our spouses and our children and our professors may live because they matter to you and you have called every single person to yourself and you have called them beautiful. That when I am with my sister Katie I give her my attention and my time and my life that she may live because she matters to you. And when I am sitting next to someone in class I pay attention to them and listen to discern the nudges of the spirit on how to treat them well and pour out Christ onto them because they matter to you. And that the way I dress, and the way I drive, and the way I speak, and the way I spend my time brings glory to you and lovingly draws people to you. Lord, I say each of these things because I am becoming a steward of my own brokenness and beginning to see that my natural reaction will always be to run from you and to push everyone else a way from you as well and to use people and relationships to fill my needs and thirsts that only you can. So everyday, at every part of the day, I must let go of myself and let you come in and live in me and submit to your authority. You demand to be my King not just my Savior. It is only by your love that I become broken enough to let you in and let you take over. Thanks for not stopping loving me. Please, love dissolve the sin that clings so closely. Don't let tear us apart. I love you but I know that all my love for you stems from yours for me.

Hosanna in the highest, your love will not fail us, no..