Love worth living for

I just want to know who God is. I've lost sight of the value of everything else. I want to surrender at all and go after one thing. Because  there is only one thing that bids me come and die. There is only one who loves me purely and furiously and loves the pedafiles and the sociopaths and the killers purely and furiously. Ant the ache is everywhere, I see it in their eyes, aching that is dulled by a life that doesn't satisfy, by the music that's ghostly empty and the music that's pregnant with meaning, I see it in kids who you never ever want to grow up because they are born looking an awful lot like God and life seems to stamp that out of them and I want to come to jesus like a child again stripped bare of all the worth I found in everything else. I want to wake up in the morning desperate to be with Him and snuggle into Him every night and I want  life that looks different, life that is real and right. Listen: he's stroking our souls. He wants us. Why he wants us I have no idea, but he does. Its what were all waiting for. There is no hope here (on this earth, in our human lives.) There is no joy. There is quiet desperation. And the poor in spirit know him. What if I was homeless? What if I woke up in the morning on the street and had nothing to do, nowhere to be? Where would my value be? But to Christ, my value would be no less. Exactly the same. He has come before me. He has petitioned on my behalf. I hammered the nails. Every scar on my soul is on his as well. I heard today from Alonza, another once homeless angel, another follower of Christ, that we have to read the Word out loud so that its not just our eyes but our ears and our mouths as well, cleansed by the Word. And do I really think its healing? Or do I still treat it like some moral teaching and really good stories and something I read because I know its really good to read. But its far better, Prayer is better. Worship-better. Life is better with Jesus. I am convinced. Not by own reasoning or conclusions but by the way God cascades into my life every day, making miracles, changing hearts being real and hard and here. And I am nothing and he is everything.

**I urge you to listen to Anis mojgani on youtube, I've fallen in love. Heres a link to one of his poems called Shake the Dust but they are all really really (really) good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDtHdloK44**