Hephzibah

My heart has been on the people I know who are missing out on real life. I think about them all the time. I see the ache, the deadness in people's eyes, and my desperation grows for people to know real life. And this sense of urgency and responsibility grows but it was so clear today that Jesus urges people to say nothing about Him, not to make his name known. And part of that is the fact that he hadn't died yet but a big part is that Jesus's healing comes with no conditions. Something in me wants it to be an exchange, "I did this for you, this is what I want you to do for me" and thats a lie. Jesus does not need me. He in and of himself is enough. He is enough for me and he is enough for every human being who ever lived. And I must cling to this because as I get to know people and get entrenched in these conversations about religion and faith and God and where life is found, my role is never to convince or reason with people. Its not even to verbally share the gospel. And really gospel sharing isn't that hard. Its a statement. Jesus died for you. I'm coming to find that Jesus is only made real in our love. That if I actually want to expose someone to the gospel, I've got to get in their life for the long haul. I have to love them. Really commit to loving. To spending time. To listening. To life on life. That is the gospel. That is Jesus.  Its quite comforting to reach the point where you tell them about who Jesus is and why we love Him tons. But those are probably just words. If Jesus was just about words, he wouldn't have came here. God gave the most beautiful words to His people, whispering them in their souls, showering them with his love but he knew that ultimately it would take living with them in every way. And Jesus IS God's Word. This is so deep and gorgeous. God's spoken Word is a person. Not just any person, but God made human. God spoke salvation into being by having Christ put on flesh.  Christ, this person that I crave, that I stake all that I have on, is the Word of God, the word love. And so it holds true that God doesn't call us to words in the way we think about them. He doesn't call us to proclaiming "jesus died for your sins." He calls us to be Jesus. He calls us to open ourselves to Himself that he may make his word living in us, make it love in us. Our proclamation of salvation will never be in anything verbal, but will always be in love. In relationship. I met with a girll yesterday and we talked for like an hour and a half about God and why Jesus is different then religion and how I can say there is only one truth and what heaven is and its so discouraging sometimes. Which is because I'm trying to approach this logically. The only way she will ever have any sense of who this guy Jesus is will be when someone loves her the eay he loves her. Actually like 1/1000 of the way he loves her. And God's like, "Krystal if you really care, its you. Stop putting your effort into things you can control and outcomes you can expect like your grades and invest. Go eat with her. Learn who she is. Get to know her the way I do. Darling, I know how to love her perfectly. I do love her perfectly. My delight is in her." And that will take a lot more work then occasional conversations about God and why He is everything her soul aches for. Because until she is loved like that she won't ever know there is more than the way life looks right now.

I found the loveliest verse..
You shall no longer be termed Forsaken and your land shall no longer be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight is in Her, and your land Married, for the Lord delight in you, and your land shall be married.
Isaiah 62:4

Lets memorize it. Lets anchor our soul in this promise. Lets say it over and over again in our minds until it becomes a river running through us, God's sunshine on our face. This is why we love. Because of His love. And this is why his Love is more than any human logic, anything we can do, any independence we crave. Because, in our deepest darkness and dirtiest sin He knows us. And this is what he says. And these words are  not just words it is the person of Christ and the love of the Lord. His Delight is in Us.

The hebrew word for His Delight is in Her is Hephzibah.
whisper that over and over into your soul and the people around you until we breathe it in as the Lord has breathed it out upon us. Hephzibah.