Day to Day Living

The thing is God,
I trust you.
I trust that you are for me and not against me. I trust that nothing can ever separate us. I trust that you are actively involved in my day, working in the messes I make, moving in me to be here. It is so freeing to hold on to these truths. To not be dismayed by the fact that I walked all the way to global village for the first time in weeks to get a latte and be with you. To not be bothered that all the other coffee shops in walking distance aren't open, because where I am and what I am eating and the music that is playing doesn't matter. It doesn't make you any less affectionate toward me or make our time spent together any less intimate and holy and satisfying. I've forgotten how to live without you. It is so humbling to see how little love I have to offer, how exhausted I am, how short my patience is when I haven't allowed you to pour into me. I just find more and more how dependent I am on you. And its so beautiful because that means that the more ministry I want to do, the more loving I want to do, the more I must be with you. Martin Luther, I think, said he was so busy he didn't have time NOT to spend 3 hours a day with you. It makes sense. But what is also lovely beyond compare is that sometimes I don't have the time and I haven't given you all of me and still you use me. Today I was sure I was supposed to grab my bible and run to have time just for us. Instead, I spent an hour with a suite mate with a hurting heart. I didn't have my own strength but it was not hard at all. I find such peace and delight in sensing the presence of the holy spirit in my soul, working where I cannot, love coming from within me that isn't my own. That wherever I am I can always close my eyes and be just with you. The peace in me that you are the designer of my life, that you gently guide me along the still waters truly does restore my soul.
       The more time you spend with the Lord, the more you find that no piece of your day will ever be enough..not half an hour, not three hours. But when you have reached that level of desperation for Jesus to continuously flood your soul, you are also at the point of seeing you can spend every moment in communion with him, constantly listening to those secret urgings, receiving the gifts he bestows, in conversation, unable to get the cross out of your mind. Now, to be quite real, i'm not there yet. And the beauty is none of us will ever be there until we experience real life..until we go home to Christ. But there is no limit to the amount of God and the amount of love we can experience here either. Lets cherish this time here in this land we are not citizens of., bearing one another's burdens, not losing sight of the cross, not seeking popularity and affirmation, not "meandering in the maze of mediocrity," but always always staring at our beloved and seeing every person through His eyes. Lets cherish our days here for they are numbered, and know that we can cherish them because we know that there is something far better for us.