Well, Lord, I just want to throw it out there that you are the most marvelous thing I have ever encountered. I am amazed by you,,God. You offer life. You, Jesus, are life. I’m binding myself to you . I don’t care God, what my life looks like, as long as it looks like you. Lord I know that the deep truth is that life is hard, very hard, but you are enough. Jesus is enough. I don’t want to be remembered. I don’t want my name written in history books, I don’t want to win a Nobel Peace Prize; I don’t want glory for helping people or changing their lives. Lord, my prayer is that the only thing people will see when they envision me is you. That I will fade and you will triumph and shine in me. I have found nothing in myself to put any hope in. But You Lord, are beyond worthy and perfect to place hope in. I can’t believe I’m here and this is life and I get to know you.
You’re molding in me this life not of telling people about Jesus but being Jesus. Not talking about God’s love but letting you show your people your love through me. You are the most precious thing I have to offer. That my mission is to bring water to the those dying of thirst but never to do so without the living water, the flood of life you are. To clothe the naked always knowing that only the pure robe of Christ will end our shame and nakedness. To loose the bonds that bind people unfairly and break every yoke, always bearing the image of the one who said “Come to me you who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Sweet love, you are more than I ever ever imagined. Holy. Rivers of holiness bursting through this campus and this city of Raleigh. Rivers of tears streaming down our face when we see the One that makes our hearts turn violently inside our chests. Streams of joy flowing through our veins and the glory of a new and ancient life, the life for the body and blood of Christ.
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
The craziest thing is that I am nothing in all this. Everything beautiful I say and do is not me. It is You alone. As my dear friends grow in You and encounter you its so clear that nothing I do will bring them life. That you are working in ways bigger than me, but you have swept me up in this work of yours just because. That you write yourself into my writing as I just pour out all that is in me to you. I don’t want anyone to look at me and see this great person or this super spirituality or maturity. I will always testify to the darkness of my own soul. The evil in my heart. My own lack of love and words and constant desire to make it about me and to steal Gods glory. I will never really be able to describe the frightening natural state of my heart and the depravity there. And I offer that to show that this about God. It has nothing to do with me except that he captured me. And now he is better than everything I’ve ever known.
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