raleigh

There are days when I have nothing to write about and there are days when I have more to write than I ever could. Today is the second kind of day.
I had the chance to sit and share life with this wonderful girl who has struggled with so much and the only thing I could offer was jesus. Not because I am supposed to, but simply because he is the only thing I know where life is found and fear can dissolve and lies can be dispelled. And watching someone begin to process who that crazy guy who loves them more than anyone else ever will is maybe the most beautiful thing in the universe. And she asked me how she could live for him. Which is the sweetest question I have ever heard. I cant even handle when God chooses to do such crazy beautiful things. And the reason she is beginning to think about God is not because of me at all but because of a girl in her family who I have been blessed to be friends with who has fallen in love with jesus this year and it is so so so evident. All the time. I'm discovering the discipline of listening. Discovering that you listen not to manipulate the conversation, not to only have deep conversations, not to talk about yourself or your advice or your knowledge. You listen because the girl sitting across from is worth listening to. Whether she wants to tell you about a movie or a friend or a struggle or secret or jesus. It matters not. And the crazy thing is, when we stop trying to get the conversation to go a certain way and we listen without any expectations or needs for the conversation to do something or to turn to Jesus, it does. It always does. The Spirit does not need our help moving people. It needs us to get out of the way and let it work and use us how it wants to. Because everything every person struggles with is rooted in their need and desire for a savior. In fact, we may find ourselves trying not to bring everything back to jesus, because it all goes to him.

On a different note, East Raleigh has been hit hard by tornados. HOuses are smashed in half, oaks are uprooted, power is down, streets are filled. It is one of those situations that seems so surreal unless its your house thats been crushed. Surreal, but in a much deeper way. Now this is tragic in a sense. But our God is bigger than that. Because it is also a huge gift and a huge, huge opportunity to love the city of Raleigh passionately and with all that we have. It is a time for community and a time to help not because we have to but because it is a gift to be able to. Today my pastor stood and told us about our Savior and what struck me was not his Sermon but his joy. His delight and excitement and passion for Jesus and what his life looked like and our choices to respond. He was so excited about the gospel. His eyes danced, he spoke fast, he wasn't looking at notes, all he wanted was for every single person to hear their story about a God who loves them more than they will ever know, who has been on a journey to redeem humanity to himself from the second we turned from him, the second his kids committed treason and said they hated him. He did it in a way none of us could have dreamed up, redeeming us in the same moment that we killed his Beloved Son. My pastors deck is standing straight up because he lives in East Raleigh, the poorest most oppressed part of our city and the part that was hit, and his trees are down and his shed and playground are destroyed but none of that seems to phase him because he is committed to a kingdom that is BIGGER and he is a citizen somewhere other than this broken and fragile world where we are all just sojourners. And that is awesome to see. That in the light of the redemption we celebrate this week, this tornado is minuscule to those who are directly affected who are following Christ and monumental to those who weren't affected because we refuse to be an apathetic people and choose to see this as a way to advance the kingdom of Jesus Christ. A chance to pray with people we don't normally pray with, serve with people who just want to help, be blessed by the poor because they know Him much better than we do most of the time because they really have been stripped of everything that most of us, especially me, still cling very tightly to.