Breaking Bread Together

On friday afternoon, just by chance I got this great opportunity to go watch a movie with a bunch of kids who live in temporary housing in the rougher part of Raleigh-by temporary, they are homeless but able to live in this townhouse complex for 3 months while parents try to find work. As soon as we got there we met Jabari, who was in first grade, and within seconds his three younger brothers-amari, antwon, and jaden. And there were probably ten other kids as well who came to watch the movie with us. and towards the end they got to have popcorn and not really thinking I took a bag when Hannah, the Jesuit volunteer through  Americorps  who works with them every day, offered it to me. But as soon as I realized how quickly they were scarfing down popcorn and that there were no seconds I began to wonder how much they got to eat (with kids, you cant really tell-my brother often eats like we never feed him :)) but I started to share my popcorn with the ones sitting next to me. Heres the beautiful thing-

after taking some, they wanted to share their popcorn with me. 

And soon all of them were in on it, sharing and eating and fellowshipping. And at 6 and 5 and 4 years old, considerably hungry, they were willing to give and to take popcorn from me and each other. And I felt for the first time in my life I understood what the disciples were talking about when they would all get together and break bread together. This dingy little day care room with a bunch of kids was holy. Undeniably holy.  This act of being on one level-where all of us were both giving and taking popcorn, sitting, snuggling watching a movie on one of those little mini televisions-A television smaller than my laptop for like 15 of us. It was so beautiful. And we were all just people, just children of God. Kids don't distrust you because of the socioeconomic or racial gaps that create chasms within societies. They love you just because you're you and you're there and you deeply want to give them attention and let them know they are worthy and loved and who knows whether anyone in the whole world is conveying that to them. And God loves them the way we love our kids. Except about a million times more. 

This is life. I never imagined it could be so deep, so right, so exhilarating. Letting go of dreams and hopes and relationships and everything I was trying to dump at Gods feet to be made worthy. And learning that my worthiness comes from Christ. and that nothing about my life will ever change that. And that I will fail but he will not. And that though I am a flower that will flourish for a second and then be gone but that his love for me, me of all people, stretches from everlasting to everlasting-an everlasting love for a little someone about whom there is nothing everlasting, and that I will break bread (or eat popcorn) and learn what it means to be human and be instilled with a painfully passionate affection for humans that is his and HIs alone..there aren't words for that.