In the end of Mark 2 Jesus is walking along the grain fields with his disciples gather the grain the farmer had left for the poor. It hit me that Jesus was not the farmer who was willing to give some to the poor. Jesus was the poor man dependent on the farmer for food. The logic follows that if he came as our example, to follow Him we must become the poor. The literal poor, the poor in spirit, the scum of the earth as Paul said.
Since I have known Jesus, I've had this really good plan of us both being made great in my life. But somewhere in my heart it is becoming more and more clear that only one of us will be made great. And if I think its both than its actually just me. Bonhoeffer, one of my biggest heroes wrote this book called the Cost of Discipleship and he said that when Christ calls a man he bids him come and die. Its truth. God offers all are fulfillment and demands that we seek it nowhere else. In the book he said The call is "nothing else than the bondage to Jesus Christ alone..no other significance is possible since Jesus is the only significance. Besides Jesus nothing has any significance. HE alone matters.
And the temptation for me and for whoever reads this is to think wow thats a really great sentence and a really good way to look at Jesus. But the call is to reread it over and over again and let it (and theis goes for the Bible as well) sink deeply into our souls until the darkness is revealed. Because the darkness is there. I have believed for quite a while that there is a moment you give your life to Jesus. But every time I give my life to Jesus I snatch it back. I desperately want to keep it. I have a lot of plans you know? I have dreams. I want to save people's lives. I want to be loved and appreciated and needed. And you maybe thinking whats wrong with that? Thats all of us..But I will dare to say that the call of Jesus is to follow. And that means I let everything go. Jesus does not give us concrete goals to work towards which I create for myself every day and so often sign his name at the bottom in my heart. Bonhoeffer said that Levi leaves everything not because he thought he might be doing something worthwhile. He leaves everything for the sake of the call. This call, this cause is not going to be deemed worthwhile-so if we follow our praise our worth will come from Christ alone-not because that is our choice but because that is the only person in whom it will be found.
"Nothing on earth, however sacred, must be allowed to come between Jesus and the man he has called. That means that stopping human trafficking cannot come between me and jesus. It means supporting a family cannot come between us and jesus. It means our spouses can't come between us and Jesus. Don't discount this. This is shocking and ugly and uncomfortable...
But the truth within it is crucial, absolutely crucial.
We are part of the problem. We cannot fix a problem we are helping create.
I'll show you how this applies to me and human trafficking. I want to free slaves in the sex trade. Kids 16, 10, 7 years old are living lives where they are raped every single day. This is urgent and it cannot be ignored. But if my attitude is that I can free them from bondage I am wrong. I may be able to free them from physical bondage but I will never be able to release the shackles of sin, dissolve the guilt and shame, heal their hearts. Christ alone can. And I know this because I was born in the same bondage-not physical but spiritual. I was bound to myself, the darkness of my heart, desire to control, sin. Only Jesus could free me from that. And it was not a one time rescue. Just last year I became enslaved to thinness, to a flat stomach-again Jesus alone could change me-I would never ever ever have healed myself. And if I become enslaved to being the Savior for these girls than I am just as bound as they are. Christ can free me and he can free them and he can free every single human being that has ever and will ever lived.
And the crazy thing is only when bind ourselves, enslave ourselves, to Christ will any of us ever taste freedom.
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