One of the most beautiful things about Jesus and the Spirit is that they just do whatever the heck they want. And when Jesus shows up, nothing can stop him. Tonight I showed up for campaigners to see all the girls fighting and mad and no one engaged and no one listening and the past few weeks there has been nothing but awkward barely even conversation and then tonight Jesus so calmed the storm in our little group of girls. Amanda just shared her story and they listened and asked questions and were fighting to share...It doesn't make any sense that I get to share life with these urban middle school girls. Its the most beautiful thing in the world. Its just little moments that are such big miracles...like when one of them says "if any of us gets pregnant I'm coming to tell you first." Or "If we're getting hurt at home can we come live with you?" or when they ask us if we have ever had to deal with boys pressuring us or problems with parents or family stuff...or when they want to share the really really crazy and terrible things going on in their lives or when they say, you're coming tomorrow right? or can we hang out more? Its so beautiful. Today was one of those days that I was just in a funk the entire day...unable to really go deep with jesus or get much work done or love my friends well and there was that terrible little question hiding in the back of my mind "what are you even doing? what even is your life?" and then I go to campaigners and what I was praying for all day becomes life as I see that this is why I am alive. For jesus and for these girls. They are worth my whole life. Maybe more than anything else. They are daughters of the most beautiful creator and it is privilege just to love them. To think that I get to spend the next four years of my life with them. I see him in them. I have to keep striving to see him just as clearly in the people in my school, those that I am surrounded with. It is so much harder..Its hardest of all to love equals.
Jesus, I praise you because you are good. You are good to me, and you have put sin away once and for all. You did not observe our suffering from afar but came right here and lived it. Teach me how to live with these girls. How to suffer and be joyful with them. You made your home here Jesus. Let us make our home amongst the poor as well. The girls excitement tonight, desire to share, eagerness to pray and lift up prayer requests, aching for more life and love is all of you. None of it has anything to do with me. You alone transform their hearts and each of our hearts. Let us seek your spirit constantly and know that it is the spirit that does everything and that we do nothing. Love you Jesus.
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