You are a God who sees me

God is love. God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. When we are bogged down by the meaninglessness of our lives we can turn our faces to the Son and honestly say, “I have nothing other than you Lord.” You are all that gives meaning to my life and I love you. You have done what I could not do. Justified me. Fulfilled the righteous requirement in me. Cared for me better than I could have hoped. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for YOU are with me. YOUR rod and staff, they comfort me. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Scripture is deeply good.

God who sees me.

There was a woman who had her worth stripped from her named Hagar. She wasn’t Sarah. She wasn’t the one chosen to bore Isaac. She wasn’t the wife of Abraham. She was thrown out, because of Sarai’s jealousy of the child that she had with Abraham and she was alone in the desert when she encountered the God of Abraham, the one true God. And this is what she said about this God.

"Truly, here I have seen him who looks after me" 

and she calls the well where He found her "the well of the Living One who sees me"  Gen. 16:13-14

You are the God who sees me.

I don’t know why those words are deep and poignant and life giving to me today but this God who sees me is a delight to me. To be seen by God, to be known by Him and heard by Him and loved by Him seems to be too much. It doesn’t make sense that the God of the universe, who stretched out the heavens and pours down the rain, who is willing and powerful to destroy and to make alive, to break and to heal, this great God is the one who sees me. The same one who saw a mother alone with a son in the desert. Neither of them wanted. Neither of them loved. Neither of them given purpose or worth by the standard of the world. But seen by God. Loved by Him. And I think of our relentless pursuits as we spend our years here on this earth. As we pursue happiness. And we pursue intimacy. And we pursue purpose. And we pursue entertainment and distractions and relaxation and thrill and pleasure. And I think about how being a human is to be marked by a longing. Deep, intense longings for these things. And awareness when we don’t have them. Awareness of something being not right about the world we live in. And searching, always searching and daring to hope for more. For a job that will fulfill us. 

I spend most my time in the university world full of young people, not children but not adults either who just want to know what they are supposed to do with their lives and want to have job that is satisfying and good and will make them happy and give them security. And I look at marriages and see the pain of men and women who are wondering whether this is really it and who are wondering why its so much harder when than thought or who are so lonely or who thought it would be different than it is. And I look at kids. Inner city kids and small town kids and rich kids and how they want to be loved. I look at my little brother and my little sister and I see how they want to be loved and how they want to be accepted and how they search for these things and how they already sense that they aren’t going to be good enough or pretty enough or talented enough. Which is such a lie. And then I look to the One I gave my life to. I look to this one who I can call the God who sees me. And who sees my baby sister and my growing-up-too-fast little brother. Who sees my young life girls and their pain and their anger and their laughter and where they put their hope. And who sees the woman named Ms. Linda in Blue Ridge Senior Center whose body can’t function without machines, who can’t talk but who can still hold a hand except that right now and tomorrow and the next day there is no hand to hold. And who sees the mom who lost her daughter this time a year ago and still is just functioning, just going through the motions. And who sees the daughters and sons who lost their mom too soon to cancer. Who was fine 7 months ago and is gone now.

The God who sees.

The God who has always seen and will always see and NOT ONLY sees but also loves. Loves more than we know. Loves more than we would dare to hope for. Loves enough to send his own beloved so that all that is wrong will be one day made right. And we won’t the sun any more because we will be with the radiant One. And there will be no more tears and no more loneliness and no more of fear of inadequacy and all will be restored. And how he does not wait till that day but stitches and restores and redeems are broken hearts day by day, hour by hour, entering into the darkness and brokenness and sadness and making it right.