prayer

Lord, what can I do with youth here in Chesapeake?

Disciple girls.

I don’t what that means or how to do it.

Pray with them. Walk through scripture with them. Love them.

Lord, I’m angry at myself today for wasting the last 2 hours worshipping idols being emotionally burdened and feeling lost.

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know why I am here or what you want me to do here.

You will never fully know.

Why not?

Because I am God and you are not.

Is there where you want me to be?

Yes.

In Chesapeake?

Yes.

Do you know how hard this is for me? I don’t know that I can bear it.

Cast your burdens onto my Son. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

I failed you today.

You are being prideful. You are acting and living as if your salvation rests on your performance, your behavior, your emotional control. Don’t you remember what I said? You’re best deeds are menstrual rags. If you continue to work and work and work-Christ will be of no advantage to you. You will sever yourself from him.

Darling. I love you too much too let you do that.

I want to draw near to you.

I know you do love. Do you see your competing desires that keep you from me?

Yes, Lord. I see the way I seek worth elsewhere. I see how you are not enough. I see how I value impacting the lives of people more than I value being with you.

I am enough for you. I will supply every need.

I live in a world that doesn’t believe you will supply our needs, that you want us to fill them on their own. I live in  a culture that says its offensive that you not let us pursue our pleasures. That you demand devotion and obedience. But I know Lord that it is not that our desires are too great but that they are too small. That we are so satisfied by the most fleeting joy, the most bitter humor, the most shallow intimacy and you have abundance for us if we would just turn to you.

Remember what my Son said-“whoever drinks of the water that I give will

never

be

thirsty

again. “