being a sister

I praise you because of who you are and who I am in you.

I’m learning the wonder of small things.

You have made me a sister.

A sister to 5 eternal human beings that you love deeply.

You have given me a unique opportunity to share life with these 5 in a way that no one else can, to see them and know them in a beautiful way.

I don’t need to ask you for more than these right now.

These are the ones that you have given to me in this moment, for this weekend.

I don’t need to do ministry today.

I was made for more than ministry.

I was made for Christ himself.

And you are the giver. A giver of very good gifts.

Even when I do not see your gifts as gifts at all.

I trust you as the Giver when I don’t know whats best for me.

And I trust that you have put me in the place you want me.

Learning to trust you.

“Whats God calling you to do?”

Love him. Love orphans and widows. Love the distressed and the brokenhearted.

Love his daughters. Privileged to love daughters of the Most High God. I’m sitting next to one right now. Shes whispering as she reads, telling me when her book says something she finds funny.

There are 4 of his sons outside. One of them happens to be my brother. They are playing football. Being kids. Being what their Father made them to be. Glorifying Him simply by doing what he made them do. Play. Have fun. Delight in life. They are here, in a house that serves the Lord. And I know that I need to pray for these sons who most likely don’t know their Father or their Savior yet. And He allows me to show them Himself. Both by my love and my words. The two combined. He says, Krystal, you get to live out the gospel every day for the rest of your life. Don’t show favoritism, little one. Don’t favor the rich, don’t favor the poor. Love the one sitting beside you. Pray for the one far from you. Don’t favor international over America. Don’t favor urban over suburban. Its all mine. The creation is mine, and the fullness thereof.

And He lets me see, just every once in  a while. My brother and I were talking yesterday. We have a new bonding activity where I run and he longboards. I love it. We were talking about parents and I said David, seriously the only thing that I care about as a parent is…and I paused so he finished my sentence “that your kids live for Christ.” And as I think about that I am floored. Mostly that God chose to save me. But also that He is alive in me. And that my brother knows. He knows my heart for the lord. That’s so sweet to me. That I don’t have to sit down and say, David can we talk about God? That I can just run hard after Jesus and he will see and he will know my heart and what I am about.

I spent an hour talking to someone yesterday and when I left it hit me so strongly I have just been in the presence of one who intimately knows the Lord. And he didn’t tell me that. I know little about his life or his faith or anything. It was something deeper, something deeply different  about him. A radical humility. A prayer for the presence of the Holy Spirit. A clear reliance on the Father. Just spirit led. I know that the lord is faithfully working in me, shaping me into someone that knows Him intimately as well. That is more marked by love for Him than my love for anything and anyone else.