to the friends I met last night, thank you.

The homeless. Why do I like being with the homeless so much? Because they have a lot to teach me. And because they bring me joy. I think that needs to be really clear. Nothing about my motivation to be with the homeless is selfless. I benefit immensely from it. And ultimately I go because I love spending time with them. I love hearing about their lives and their thoughts. I like their eyes. I like that they want to me know. They want to know why I’m there. And they accept it, even though it doesn’t make sense. I like the moment when I start to earn their trust and the conversation becomes more real and less guarded. I like to ask them about how many kids they have and what their names are and what they are like. And to say to them with my eyes,

I’ll be your daughter for tonight. The daughter that doesn’t want to talk to you because you’re a bum or you can’t stop drinking or you don’t have it together and you’re not impressive. For tonight, we can lay that aside and be friends. I’ll listen. Because I know there is something that only you can teach me. Because you are in fact worthwhile and intelligent and have learned a whole lot in life.

You’re teaching me how to be raw and vulnerable. How to have joy. How to live community. How to be generous. If only you knew. I should be paying you for all that I am gaining from this interaction.

Thanks for being interested in me. For asking about school and what I’m studying just like dads are supposed to. You haven’t forgotten. You’re just as human as I am you know. Perhaps more human.

I don’t know why I keep coming out here. I just know that it makes my life better. You are making my life better. I hope that I am making yours better, but honestly I have no idea. I do know that we are equals though. I know that last night, I gave none of you anything and you gave me an apple someone passed you from out of their car window while you stood on the highway with a sign. I know that you sleep in a tent because you love to be outside. And yes, I get that I am impressionable and idealistic and maybe you’re sleeping outside because you don’t have a job but what you said, that when you spend 22 years in prison, you love to be outside, made sense to me. I like camping too.

I hope I see you again and you remember me. I doubt its possible for you to see as much Jesus in me as I see in you, but I hope you see some. At least that he is crazy about you.