rockbridge weekend

Got to go to young life camp this weekend and lead a cabin of 6 high school girls. What a gift. Don't even know how to put it into words. I wrote a little letter to my cabin and then to jesus so I'll post them here. Mostly just struck by the fact that God would love me so much to let me go and get to know them and Him and pursue them a bit when I didn't even know how to. And that they would share a bit of their lives with me. Overwhelmed by the goodness of our Lord.

To my cabin,

I loved getting to share life with you this weekend. I loved learning about Jesus from you, not from your words but from your lives. Because you suffer just like he did. You know more about suffering then maybe I ever will. And you still love. I don’t want you to lose your ability to love. And my greatest hope is that your love and affection is channeled into the one who loves you more than anyone ever will. I trust him as I see your joy, your pain, and your love for each other, what makes you come alive. I trust that though I don’t know how to love you well, I don’t know how to be your leader, I don’t even know how to know you that he knows all these and more. He loves you so much sweet girls. He loves to see you laugh, to see you dance, sing, rap, whatever it is that you do…he made you to do those things and you delight him by being who you are. How do you go through all that you go through? How are you so strong? I see the pain beneath the laugh and I thank you for the sliver of reality I got to glimpse this weekend. I know that healing is hard. It is painful. But it is good. You are daughters of the light. Nothing needs to be kept in darkness. Nothing hidden behind laughter. Nothing scares Him. He’s seen it all, felt it all, lived through it all. Nothing about your life is too much for him. Thank you for your tears, I know you hate them. Thank you for letting me in a little, for being real with me, for loving me well and showing me Christ. I love you. I love you more than I can explain. With a love that is not my own, that of Jesus Christ who pressed on my heart all weekend that I can not comprehend the depth and height of his love for you. I think of you as you are in your homes now. I know that this is where it gets hard. I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but I hope His love does not feel less real. I hope that he is loving you just as hard as he has been all along and that you know it. I hope that in these weeks to come I am able to pursue the way he does, love you a little like he does, share life with you. I am so unworthy to do such a thing, I wasn’t even supposed to come this weekend, but he let me come along. Work alongside Him. Experience his joy in pursuing you and his sorrow in the ways the world has tainted and hurt his brides.

Thank you jesus...

 for letting me in to the work you are doing in the lives and hearts of six lovely girls this weekend. How can I thank you? How could you have entrusted me with something so precious, something of such deep importance? You are crazy to love me like you do. Stay with them lord. Keep showing them who you are and how you love them. Be close beside them tonight. So close they can feel you. The work is not in vain. It is for your glory. Lord, these girls are looking for lovers. They don’t want to be alone lord. But you are the Love of their life. I don’t want them to settle for anything less then you. There is so much brokenness in this world, but especially in the lives of these six girls. Only you can redeem it. I cannot. No one else can. You alone. When I was in high school I thought that what I found in You at camp could not be found at home in day to day life. That is a lie. You want every day of my life to be as exciting and as saturated with you as the best camp, the best trip, the best community. This weekend, living life together, encountering you together, is what we made for. It’s the closest to reality we’ve gotten in urban ministry. I love them. It is hard because I don’t know how to love them, but I rely on you. I trust you to teach me what I do not know. I trust you when you tell me to just be faithful to you. I trust that if every day I commit to whatever you ask, you will show me how to pursue them and you will change their lives and their hearts forever. There is nothing you cannot do. I love you lord. Bring healing; bring life, life to the full. For me and for them. Thank you for showing me what you look like through the girls this weekend. For loving me so much that you’d let me be a part of this. For loving them as much as you do, more than I’ll ever know. Pour out your spirit God. All the time, on all of us. We need you so badly. I love you my King.