I've been neglecting salvation.

Hebrews 2
I've began a Journey in the book of Hebrews and the first thing I came across that really jolted me was the beginning of chapter 2 which is about neglecting salvation. What killed me is that the ones he warns about neglecting salvation are the ones who have heard it before. aka me. I've been familiar with salvation, since I was old enough to be told Jesus died for me. And here is the huge danger-that statement "Jesus died for me" produces no response in my heart. It does not take my breath away, it does not draw me to tears or praise or meditation. Its become stale. And maybe you know this, maybe salvation has become cliche in our hearts because we hear it week after week. A dear friend of mine told me about how her mother was killed when she was 4 and she saw her mother after it happened. But she had told this story to person after person year after year, it had no emotional effect on her. It just became a fact. When she discovered Christ she wept when telling her story for the first time in years because she discovered how to feel pain and only in feeling pain was she able to be comforted by Christ. Thats how I can be about the cross. At that point where this HUGE thing has become ordinary and often repeated and just kind of a fact.
So last night as I read these ancient words, this God breathed text, a question crashed into my heart...

Do you think God sent his Beloved to be made the lowliest, to die on a human cross, so that you and the body of Christ can live like this?

And I plead with you, ask yourself that question. Your relationship with God, right now, this second-is it the sort of relationship that he desired? The sort of relationship that he put his wrath upon his own Son for? And this is not about self condemnation because God chose to send his Son knowing exactly how we would live, but it is a time of being real with ourselves and daring to wonder what He sort of relationship he desires enough to let his Son put on flesh. If Christ was willing to be that close to us-to strip himself of all godliness, to make himself lower than angels, to let go of all power and knowledge he held, subject himself to the earth he created, and perhaps most, leave God. Willingly live life away from God. It breaks our hearts and causes deep suffering in us to be apart from God and we are born apart from God. Jesus knew what it meant to live in community and relationship deeper than our humanity can take us. Can you imagine the agony of letting that go for a minute? For 33 years?

It undeniably leads us to the idea that God has more in mind for our lives and our relationships with Him.  I'll get really real. Jesus did not die to watch me find value or comfort in a flat stomach, to eat really good food, treasure cuddling with my boyfriend far more than being with him, enslave myself to perfect grades, save a bunch of people's lives, be a social worker, be a writer, be a world changer. He died for one reason and one alone: for me to be in relationship with God. To invite me into the relationship he and God had that we were all supposed to be a part of before we checked out and decided to find our own way. And whenever relationship with God isn't the desire of our heart, the craving of our soul, the 1. on the todo list, the source of life and worth and joy salvation is neglected. So with everything, EVERYTHING, did Jesus die for me to do this?