remembering how much I love being here

I am learning much about the life that we are invited into as we spend a week in Haiti. We are not invited to push our agenda here. We are not here to do “much.” They do not need us. I am not needed in Haiti. Yet, the lord has allowed me to be here to experience fellowship and communion with him through these particular people of his and this very place. No other reason but this. I am learning that the lord is forcing me to rest here. To sit with him. To talk to him, to read his word. Things that should not demand forcing because they are things I love. But things that do because I have chosen to do and do and do until I forgot how to rest and could not bring myself to do it. And as I cry out and I say, how can our time not be more full, I know that he knows what I need so much better than I do. I remember my intention. To strengthen bonds by seeing people again. And I have gotten to experience that in beautiful, holy ways and I am so thankful for that. SO thankful for those moments almost daily when love is evident in seeing my friends again. And remembering that I came here to see my friends and my family in Christ, not to accomplish much, not to be productive, not to be busy. Simply to enjoy life with them for a little bit of time before school. And they have been very gracious in including us in much that they are doing, and that is worth being thankful for as well. We have been able to share in Cappva, in children’s ministry, in youth ministry. Tomorrow we will share in the work by painting a school. Such a wonderful thing. One of my favorite sides of ministry…the purely physical side of building and painting and getting dirty and hot. I know that there is something in us that thrives in that very kind of work.

Well, the day of painting I was anticipating last night has come to an end and it was indeed good. Today I learned something very important from my very wise friend:

Let God be God.

Because I want to be God. I don’t want to give God control over anything, and he demands control of everything in my life. Its so hard to give him anything and yet when he has it all is when we experience full life and perfect peace. I was reminded by Hebrews 12 that sin clings closely. It is not easily expelled, but it is taken from us as we are chastised and disciplined in our Fathers love for us. All who he receives are chastised. That we may lay aside the weight and sin and run the race before us.

So we did paint and it was good. Good to work with our Haitian friends. Good to use our hands. Good to labor in the simplest sense. Good to come back dirty and tired and hungry and happy. And to remember that God made us all to work and we enjoy him in a day of work.