Haven't been blogging much at all this week obviously. And I am traveling again today. From Sacramento to Reno to meet my mom and my younger siblings, say goodbye to my stepmom, stepsister and half sister, and head up into the Sierra Nevada Mountains with my family for two weeks. Which, as all things are, a huge gift. To be with family in the most beautiful place on earth (I may be a little biased) and spend time with God and family in the midst of his creation. again no phone, no computer, just people and books, so it will be another 2 weeks without much blogging. and the question arises, what does it mean to follow God and be obedient to him in this season of life. That so many find themselves in during summer. Traveling, seeing family, no consistent schedule, we dont really have time for daily devotionals because we are with people we never see, and out of our element...I can see it in my time with God. Sort of hasty, impatient, hard to keep my attention, justifying my busyness...I never see these people God. And I guess the response is that God does demand supremacy in our life. He wants the firstfruits, of our time, money, talents, whatever. And the reality is, he knows how to make our time with people gorgeous. Because he made them and he made us and in him alone can the relationship reach its fullest beauty. So we need to steal away just to be with him. Perhaps now more than ever. And I look at my day and realize that there is always time...Always time where I read other things or bake or run or whatever. I know that at least for me the question is never whether I have time for God. I always do. Whether I choose to give my time to him. What I am willing to give up to be with him.
Its still hard for me to accept that God is just as much in the mundane as the exciting. And even more so, there is no such thing as mundaene to God. Unlike us, he does not consider mission trips some ultra spiritual time or wants to interact with us more or do crazier things in our lives. We just are more open. We trust that he miraculous things in mind when were on mission or leading bible studies or whatever. He is just as present, just as much a healer and a redeemer in family vacations as any thing else. That is just. as much. mission.
And I think we know that. We know our families. We know the pain, the yearning, the separation from God. The desire for spiritual growth. That self sacrificial love will be demanded of us. But it is harder. My mom has always told me that. It is harder to love your younger siblings or your inlaws or whatever than it is to love orphans. So now is the time we must demand on God the most every day. Summer after senior year I went to wyldlife camp, leading a cabin of girls. And every morning I woke up and spent 30 minutes to an hour with God. But what was crazy about it is that when my alarm went off in the morning, I knew I didnt have a choice. There was no way I would be able to pour into my cabin of 8 girls and love them to the best of my ability if I didnt have time to be poured into an engage with their and my creator. I depended on that time for my strength. And I am convinced that should not be something unique for that week. That every day all of us are interacting with people. And are call as Christians, is to be the aroma of Christ and to love people with the love of Christ. And we cant do that on our own.
I want to write a little bit to Haiti..
Dear Haiti,
its been a while. People ask me about you all the time. I tell them I love you. I dont have much else to say. No, I have so much to say but I dont know what words to use. I dont know how to tell them about your streets and sunrises and voice that loves to sing to God. I dont know how you fit into my life, but I know you will be a part of it. I miss you. I dont think a lot about missing you, but as I write this I wish I could fly to you. But my family of course is here. Although I have made some family in you as well. I wonder if I dont think about you that much because I dont want to miss you. I get sort of frustrated that nothing about my life has you in it except that people ask me how you were. But its dumb because I am so afraid that when I tell they think, wow shes a cool person or a good person for going to Haiti. and that is stupid. Because I want them to see God when I talk about you. Who he is, how gorgeous he is, what HE is doing with you and your people, not me. But thats not exactly easy to express. Dear Niaka (2 year old from the orphanage that I spent a lot of time with) I wish you were here with me. I miss you. I hope our walking is going well and you are getting lots of love and attention. I hope you are happy and that you know God. Even though youre just a baby. You might know God best of all. Im praying for a family to fall in love with you like I have. If we cant be family, I want a family for you that is crazy about you. But no matter what, you will be with God forever, so dont be sad if you stay in the orphanage for a long time You look like an angel.
Dear Chicowski, You really scared me that one day you were sick. I hope you are well and busy like always. How is construction going? do you still go there every day? You better be paying attention in school. Even though you are so going to be a construction worker when you row up. I miss you like crazy. Especially having you on my back, whispering things in my ear I cant even understand. I dont even mind if you say really innappropriate things to me in English, because Im going to hope and tell myself you have no idea what they mean. Dear 6th grade girls, I love you guys. I loved hanging out wiht you every morning Thanks for being really patient in teaching me creole and speaking english so well so we can talk. You are all going to do super great in 7th grade. I wish I was your teacher. Or just friend. I kept all the pictures you gave me and Im telling everyone I know about you just like I promised. Dear Jeff (from the tent city), I am so sorry I didnt take you back with me. I know you wanted me to. Dont ever think I forgot you. I didnt. I have your picture and I wont ever forget the time you took me to your tent. Your family needs you. You can do big things for your country. I wish I spoke more creole so I could have known all the stuff you said to me, but I know that you loved me. Thank you.
Time to go see my family. Who I need to thank for being pretty much amazing. And letting me fl away with God. Knowing that I would come back. almost 8 weeks ago my parent waved goodbye in the Norfolk airport, supporting me one hundred percent. Not because they wanted me to go. But because they have given me to God. Trusting that he would bring me back to them. He is faithful. Today is that day. And to all my haitian loves, he will do the same. Bring me back to you all. I hope. But even if not, we have a city that is prepared for us. An inheritance that cannot be taken away. And in haiti and america we are still just sojourners. But one day, one day very soon, we will be home. And we can love today knowing that very soon we will all fly away. And be together forever. With Christ. Cling to that. Make it your very life. Hes better than life.
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