Oh, praise Him.

Today was a day of praise. A day to praise the greatest artist of all time by loving his artwork and delighting in it. Montenegro just may be the most beautiful country in the entire world. Today we were able to drive along the coast from the capital across the border to Croatia to pick up the mission team we will be serving and working with for the next week and a half-one high schooler, 4 UGA students, and their leader who is head of an incredible ministry in the southeast called SWAT that does weekend retreats for youth. I must admit I was wary and apprehensive about getting back into the car for 8 hours of driving and the lord made it one of my favorite days of the whole trip. We drove along a farm filled valley along the mountains then down to the Adriatic sea which is lined with beautiful villages filled with Mediterranean homes, looking so much like Greece where I have always dreamed of going. We had a half hour in one of these towns while our pastor met with a woman and headed down one of those sloping, winding narrow roads, delighted with surprises at every turn-unique homes and unexpected cafes and mini farmers markets and a fantastic central square down at the bottom. We had pizza with the team overlooking the water, enjoying a soft breeze reminding me of the power of the gusts that I now hear and feel as I write on my favorite back porch. But it was not just a day of seeing beauty and soaking in a little paradise. It was deep. The day was rich and it was missional. It was a day to speak to Mike about the future and allow him to speak to us from the Spirit. As I asked question after question about the people that he worked with in ministry and on the mission field and learned about these incredible lives fully surrendered for Christ-people who have literally gave up everything, moved to a foreign land and commit everything they have to serving the lord and making disciples he said to me “It seems like maybe that is the life that you are drawn to and called to.” And with a fluttering heart that was scared of the weightiness of that observation I knew that I had nothing to say but yes. He reminded me of the words sent to Ananias about Paul from Christ-“I will show him how much he must suffer for my name” and again, my spirit knew that it would be true for my life. Oh how much you give to live a life of missions. The question we return to is this “Does the cross draw you or repel you?” Because unlike most things, missions is not about a satisfying and fulfilling life. Its about dying to yourself. In a million ways a million times. Its about letting go. And when I am honest, I am terrified to let go of the comfort and the relationships and the independence and control I have living in the states. At times I say, Lord, maybe I cannot or should not go…and yet the pull is deep. The reasons for staying away from missions are always about me and my comfort and the pull is always the lord and what he is doing. Amidst the breathtaking beauty of the cities we also know that there is not a church in most of the cities. Not a church. Most likely not a Christian. Not a single one. Sobering to say the least. And convicting. To remember that nothing here will last-that I have one life to live and it is His now…and he will show me how much I must suffer for the name. I have never been so drawn and so repelled by one thing. And I know that right now is a season of preparation. A season of prayer and discernment and equipping as I spend my next two years in college. And yet I know that one day, there will be a call to go. I don’t know where. But I know the call. Come with me, Christ says. Follow me. There were some that Christ told to stay in their hometown. And there were some he said to come with him. To leave everything. And when they looked at him, the realized that having everything and not him was nothing compared to having Him and following Him and living for Him. And I know that is the heart he has given me. A heart that loves people with a love that is HIS not mine. A heart for churches where they are persecuted. A heart for the cities where no one knows their Lover and Savior and Lord. I saw a little girl in the car while on the bus and somehow we connected-smiling, hiding, laughing-fast friends across the windows of two cars in a foreign country with another language and utterly different lives. And then so soon her dad turned and I waved and just as the car went out of sight I saw a little hand wave back. And I think of this girl and it hits me now that she will never hear about her the One she was made for who loves her more than anything else in the city she lives in. And the Spirit is flooding this trip with moments like these and showing me all these kids and families who God loves. Some of whom he has chosen since before the beginning of time. But how can they believe if they do not hear? And how do they hear if no one speaks? And how can one speak unless they are sent? And there I am with a love so deep for a people not my own and a love so deep for the One who brought me out of the pit, who cleansed me and adored me and has seated me on high already to reign with him forever and I cannot fathom living for anything else. Why would I do anything other than what will last eternally? And what will last eternally except people? And a world of opportunities and of people who are following hard of Christ is here and there is a place for me here if the lord leads me to it and its scary and crazy and good. And who knows. Perhaps in 2 weeks or 2 months or 2 years everything will have changed again and the lord will lead me somewhere completely unexpected-His will not mine. Thy kingdom come, Father. Thy will be done. For THINE is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.