thoughts from portland

To be quite honest, I have become far more self-conscious of myself as a writer recently than I have been a long time. Humility is good. It is good that I recognize that Gods words are millions of times better than mine. That he has said all that needs to be said in his Word. That Jesus is the AUTHOR and perfector of our faith so anyone reading this should probably turn to the scripture because it is far better. At the same time, I am a signpost for God. He has appointed me as an ambassador. Made me the fragrance of Christ. Called me to be bold with my words and point to Christ. And if writing is a means by which I can point to Christ, then it is good. And I know that my discomfort with writing is from a lack of writing, a lack of time with the lord, a lack of reading, probably more than it is due to humility. But tonight I can say, Christ’s love for you and for me is enough. He is loving us in this moment. There has never been a moment where he did not love us dearly. I am in Portland this week, and I love it. And loving being here clearly shows that God has chosen to help me experience joy, and freedom and full life. And that God counts laughter as holy. He loves to see us enjoy ourselves, and calls us to Himself knowing that he is the ultimate enjoyment for any soul because all were made for Him and Him alone. He knows how to love each of us. He knows when to push us in hard ways, when to lavish us in adoration, when to bring the right person into our day or life. Or bring cancelled plans or hard times or frustrating days. I read something really beautiful in a book on biblical perspective on addiction which is that

Change starts proceeds and ends with Jesus.  

It is all His. As I am at this social work conference I feel the tension of being with so many people who have another method of change, even amongst Christians who feel that faith is a way you love people with the way you act but not something to convince them of.

The holiness of God, demonstrated in Christ’s death and resurrection is the final answer. God’s love is defined by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. To offer anyone my own love, which pales immeasurably in comparison, instead of this love is doing them harm. He goes so far to say that all problems that plague all people must find their resolution in this gospel. He makes it clear that you can overcome things (addiction etc.) without Christ but that God has something better in mind for us: serving, fearing, knowing and loving Him. That his desire and intention for our lives.

Recently my heart has been on the church in Montenegro. I have been given the unbelievable opportunity to go there this summer, in the hopes that if he is willing, God will use me to minister to this church and country and use them to minister to me. Mike, the missionary we will be working with who has been guiding my friend Caroline and I as we prepare to come told us that in the entire country of Montenegro there are less than 150 followers than Christ. That in cities of 60,000 there are 30 Christians. Can you imagine? Can you imagine the Christian community in your city being 15 or 20 people? There are some cities, he told us, where there are one or two Christians. A girl they know that is a college student is the only Christian in her university. The only one. We must be praying for this little church. We must lift them up to the Lord, thank Him for them, ask him to grow them and to abound their love more and more. Just the opportunity to pray for them is a gift. I think of our churches, with hundreds of people, our ability to move from one to another to find the one we like, my campus with easily over 30 Christian ministries, and this beautiful little church where people give up so much to follow Christ. He is worthy. He is worthy of our devotion if we are in Montenegro or in the U.S. He is worthy of my heart this week in rainy, lovely Portland and worth my heart every day in Raleigh. Every day I am in Chesapeake. Worthy of each orphan in Haiti. Worthy of each middle school girl struggling in inner city homes. Equally worthy of the rich and the poor. The beautiful and the unnoticed. He has claimed us as his own and his love for us is the greatest we will ever know.