sovereignty.

As I read through 1 Samuel, I am reminded of Gods utter and gorgeous sovereignty. The Philistines steal the ark, which seems like the greatest disaster imaginable, but does not take away from Gods glory. His hand is heavy on them and with time (without any help from the Israelites) God makes it so that they say What shall we do with the ark of the Lord?" We have to send this thing to its place, they say. We don't even want it. Because they quickly learn that God is not theirs. That he is who he is and he is over and above all things and they cannot stop his will. Not only do they willingly send it back to Israel, they send it with sacrifices in order to GIVE GLORY TO THE GOD OF ISRAEL. He will get glory. There is no question. There is no suspense regarding the end of the story. All glory belongs to him and will be given to him. Every knee will bow. Every voice will proclaim Him. We will ALL give glory to God. So for me, this means a more active seeking of Him and his will and how I can give him glory. That is my only purpose (ultimately). To glorify God. Not to be loved by God, except that his love for me glorifies himself and my love for him glorifies him as well. I often act as if I cannot know his will or be attuned to his spirit, as if that takes a spirituality to high for me. This morning he reminds me that it is simply a matter of spending time with him. And through an hour sitting with him in a coffee shop, I am sending letters to people I love, texts of encouragement, praying hard for people. I am able to do more in one hour than I can in weeks spent on my own strength and my own will. As Eli sai, "It is the Lord, let him do what seems good to him." How true.

Lord, do what seems good to you. Even if it takes glory from me. Even if it means I do less when I want to be busy. Even if it means I do more when I am tired. Do what seems good to you, because I want to love what you love lord. I want to love you more than anything else on this world. I want to grow and not let your words fall to the ground so that like Samuel it may be know that I am have been established as of the Lord. I want that to be known in my social work community where believing exclusively in your son is seen as discrimination and ignorance. I want it to be known in leadership programs I am in where downward mobility doesn't make any sense. I want it to be known to the girls and the kids you allow me to help you love that I am yours and that they can be fully yours too.

Your glory is such a beautiful thing father. Bind me to you. Deepen my attentiveness to your ever present spirit. Teach me to rest, to obey you in resting, in praying, in seeking the word. Give me the boldness to give all glory to you when its hard. I want to hold your words lord. To speak them in places where I didn't imagine ever speaking them. Speak into my relationships God. Speak into my thoughts. Speak into my classes.

 Lord you struck people, even your own people, when they look upon your ark. I am so thankful that you have struck Christ so that now I can see you face to face, not through the veil. Still though lord, I know you want to my sin, which clings so closely, destroyed. Crucified, nailed to the cross. When I hold it intimately, I think you are striking me but you're not. You're loving me perfectly by striking it and taking from me everything that I can't live without. You love me so well when you show me that you alone are good, when you leave me with nothing but yourself to cling to.