What does Colossians have to say to me?
Christ is everything. He is the image of the invisible God. The firstborn over all creation. In him all things hold together. He is before all things. He is head of his body, the church. He is over every ruler, throne, and principality. He wants to know you. He is pursuing you. In him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell. In him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell. He is the firstborn over all creation, and then the firstborn of the dead. He became just as dead as you are; you can be just as alive as he now is. He is not there with you (the father reminds me), he is with me. The spirit is with you. Remember? He left so it could come. And it is still there. In you. He reconciled all things to himself. When I say all things, I mean you. You’re a part of that, a part of earth. Not separate from it, a part of it.
As I write, I remember I want you to be known, God. I become aware of how small my prayer has been. How few and far between. How good it is to be here with you. How valuable the time you have given is. Time with you (alone), time with believers, and time with nonbelievers. All my time falls into those categories. They are all crucial, and all beautiful. None are a waste. They are great, great times. And you bring peace, peace by your blood. Of your cross. The peace you bring, you give to us. And then I come in-once alienated, hostile, but now reconciled by your body, in your death. It’s all yours. None of it is mine. The death and the body were not mine at first. They were all yours. But now I am reconciled to you. You are going to present me holy and blameless and above reproach. And I think, wait a second God, there has been a mistake. I’m not holy. I’m not blameless. And I am not above reproach. And if there is any place that I am absolutely, starkly, entirely not those things, it is before your throne. Here on earth, in comparison, in the midst of the grime of our existence and brokenness evident in everything here, I can hide my brokenness. Not to myself ever, I know my selfishness very well. But to the world. I do great deeds, you know. I hang out with urban kids. I’m studying social work. That’s noble, right God? That’s what they tell me. I went to Haiti. I love my parents. I have friends. The most lawbreaking I do is speeding and jaywalking and biking without a helmet. But God, before you, I know the weight of all those good things is darkened by my heart. Which is black. It is stained by sin. If you can see all of me, you’ll see a lot of the domesticated, tinsel-covered sin for what it really is. I know that God. I know that if I were to stand in your presence, if there had ever been a damned, I would be among the damned. Because I’ve crushed a lot of people in my little life. I hate to share. I’m not generous. I don’t like when things steal my time. I’ve made people like me then rejected them when they got too close or clingy. I judge people constantly. I let my friends keep on sinning. I want to be great more than I want you to be great. In my serving, I want to be great. I’ve always wanted to be great. I used to hurt my little brother and pretend it was an accident. I don’t spend time with difficult people. I worship urban ministry. I hate confession. I like to take the upper hand in our relationship. I’m enslaved to and obsessed with time and it being used well by some strange hierarchy I’ve created that’s not even gospel truth. I do love you. A lot. I do believe that you are worth all my life. I do want my life to be about you. I want to be healed and made perfect, and most of all I want to lose myself in you. And so when you say, I’m reconciling you to myself I think that there is nothing better you could ever say. Because that’s what I need.
But then I start to worry, because Paul says, “I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking Christ’s affliction for the sake of his body that is the church of which I became a minster according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you to make the work of God fully known."
Wait a minute. This is way too much to take in.
First off, I am not rejoicing in sufferings for the sake of my girls. I don’t even know who my girls are right now, I’m scattered. I don’t know how to pursue well. Lord, help me because I’m lost. Real lost.
Paul says he is a minister of the hope of the gospel.
Which means making the word of God fully known.
The mystery has been revealed. Jesus is the word of God. Jesus is God speaking salvation into being. Jesus is the uttered word.
God CHOSE to make known to me-
How great are the riches of the glory of this mystery.
The mystery is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
Christ in you. He is already there. He has done all the work. Christ in you.
Christ in you is the greatest thing the world has ever and will ever see.
Him we proclaim. To the Christian, Christ is All. Him alone we proclaim. As Savior. As Life. As the hope of glory. To us, He is it. There is no alternative. Christ alone. We want all to be presented mature in Christ. Maturity in Christ is what we strive for. Not converts, disciples. Those for whom Christ is lord of their life. At the time of Paul, becoming Christian was a death sentence. It was dangerous. It cost you everything. There were no Christians who weren’t followers. That would never be worth the risk and the cost.
With all girls lord, help me to strive for maturity in Christ. And that is a lifelong journey. And you say to me, Krystal, love, you must be reaching out to those who do not know me. You know what it looks like to know me. I don’t care whether you are pouring into church goers or pagans, addicts or kids or classmates. There are many who do not know me, and I am entrusting you with the hope of glory. Myself. The fact that I have done all to present each blameless before the throne, that I have done all that must be done for salvation, that I am worth the entirety of lives.
Krystal, you are obsessed with toil. You love to toil. That love is from me. I have put it in you. Now direct all towards me. If people are not coming to know me, its not worth toiling. Hunter has to be about disciple making. It has to be about presenting people mature in Christ. Hope for Hunter is going to be a community of people committed to wooing the families of Southeast Raleigh for the love of Christ. For lavishing the love of Christ on Hunter Elementary. All that you do must go to that purpose. Bring them into church. Into community groups. Build leaders who can build leaders.
Urban ministry. That is the love of your life. And it is from me. I know you, love. I know you full well. And I know your heart for urban ministry and I want to cultivate that and I want every ounce of your life and energy and strength for the maturity of people in Christ.
I want all my energy for that God. More than that. I want all your energy for that. You work powerfully within me. I don’t rely on my own strength.
This is what I want to see: hearts knit together in love. Which means your heart being knit in love with urban families. It shouldn’t be possible. It should be two separate worlds. But I do not see what you see in those communities. I see great strengths. I see disciples. I see Christ formed in them. I’m going to knit your heart to theirs. That’s what I want to do with you little love. Knit your heart to theirs. When hearts are knit together in love they reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of my mystery, which is Christ.
You will work that in whatever I do. You do more than I ask or dream with every element of my life, every friendship, every trip, every class I take. You turn it all into not-so-small miracles.
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