Give me life according to your word. Life according to your word-it comes in, this word of yours, and resides in my heart. Christ is your word. I become all yours, and then there is peace, because I am no longer my own.
When I told you of my ways you answered me. My ways are not your ways. I crave distraction God. I want to be distracted from my ways and my dust-clinging and my lack of life according to your word. But I know that it is good to just be with you because all the work I can do in life that matters is your work through me. Nothing that I do apart from you could last. My ways will end so soon. My life will end in 70 years. Your ways are forever. Your word will not fade, will never pass away. And I can surrender fully to you. Daily. Hourly.
Make me understand the way of your precepts and I will meditate on your wondrous works. Now if the psalmist says this it must be worth doing a lot of time. Spending a good portion of my day understanding the way of your precepts and meditating on your works. And I know that this makes sense. The closer I get to you, the more I know you and your word, I’m going to be able to move with the spirit and be attuned to you and be able to beautifully portray who you are. But I am so set on doing, and somehow meditating isn’t doing to me. Its not as good. That makes no sense. Of course its good. Because if I toil really hard but its not honoring you, its not with your word and your spirit and offering you, it’s a waste. You’ll work in me no matter what but I’m going to limit what you can do with me if I insist on toiling. And I see this so clearly as I think about the week. Where I kept meeting with people but I was tired, I forgot how to listen, I wasn’t able to let the spirit move, my selfishness and self-centeredness just drew me into my self. And today I wake up and I think…you’re going to give me plans right? Purpose? Significance for this day?
Yes, you say. With me. Understand my precepts today. Meditate on my wondrous works. That is what today is for. No one else. And everyone else. Because you must know me well to share me.
My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Write your word upon my heart God, that it reverberates through me all day. So this self-destructive internal monologue can be replaced by your word offering unending life, making me more like you.
Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! Please do these things in me God. Dig the false ways that are deeply rooted in my heart. Reach into the soil of my soul and free me from the false ways that I am not even aware of right now. So many lies lord that play through our minds all day-about ourselves and other people.
I have chosen the way of faithfulness, I have set your rules before me. Were told, in college, to make a lot plans. To set goals before us. But the psalmist says to set your rules before us. And to set Christ before us, because Christ is the mark of the new covenant. And to set the cross before us.
I cling to your testimonies O Lord, let me not be put to shame. O, great Lord, how you can change a heart. We go from clinging to dust to clinging to your testimonies. We place our whole heart in the things of this world and then our whole heart in you and what you have done for us. And we proclaim and say, Look! See what he has done. See how he loves you.
I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart. Running. Running in the way of your commandments. It is good God. I’m thankful you know my runner heart. And give me the right way to run. In the way of your commandments. But even this is only possible when you enlarge my heart.
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