new semester

2 weeks into the semester but it looks very different as I intern 32 hours a week in Refugee Resettlement. How sweet Christ has been to me in taking away the lifestyle that I had come to thrive in here in Raleigh and taking away the hours I used to spend at a downtown middle school called Ligon that captured my heart last semester. How good he has been in showing me that my purpose is not achieve worth or value or uniqueness. That instead I get to glorify the One who has given me unending worth and value and uniqueness, His very own in fact that he has had since the beginning. I see my affection for His Word growing, just bit by bit, and my desire to rest in him growing little by little. As I ponder that drive to do and to go and to accomplish more and more and to give but is it really about giving or is it really about feeling good enough? Perhaps the latter.
And I am humbled more and more through this job that I have this semester as I do things that are not what I choose to do, not what I believe I am called to do or gifted to do, that I just don't want to do. But perhaps far harder is the fierce jealousy that wells up in me as I see my friends living how I want to live, how I lived not so long ago, and the desire for self pity and recognition and the need to do more than what God has given.
I think of the freedom I have. I am free to pray for those I love. I am free to spend time in the evenings and weekends with people or with the lord. I am free to be in the Word, to be passionate about it, to dig deeply in-and is it, are these, enough for me?

God I see my brokenness, my sin, and I know that it has been covered already. I see you and I know that you are enough. More than enough. You are my joy. You are my satisfaction. You are my worth, my identity, my life, my all.